Weapons (2025) Mumbles

Right, strap in — this flick’s got more holes than Swiss cheese. Let’s peel back the layers and see what’s actually left:

2:17 a.m. — the big recurring number is at least explained: it’s the exact time Gladys snapped that twig to take control of the kids. Fair enough, mystery solved… except it still feels like the film tried to make it this huge symbolic thing without giving it any real weight beyond “magic tree stick go snap.”

Gladys and that magic-ass tree ritual. She’s a witch, right? Or some twisted metaphor? Either way — where the hell did that tree come from? Why is it magical? Why that ritual, at that time, with those items? We need the fucking lore, otherwise you’ve just got a sad mumbler like me calling bullshit.

Surveillance footage doesn’t go anywhere. Archer uses it to trace the kids’ path — but he literally can’t pinpoint anything. Yet somehow, after a dream sequence or two, Justine just knows where to go. Logic glitch, darling! Speaking of those dream sequences…

Why the fuck were there dream sequences at all? No explanation. None. Just random visions dumped into the middle of the story like the director was bored and thought, “Yeah, this’ll look deep.” If they had any meaning, the film sure as hell wasn’t telling us.

Paul the cop and James, the burglar. James finds the tortured kids in the basement, awestruck rather than running for his life. He then goes to the police? And Paul, the cop, gets suspicious and drags James inside… instead of calling back-up or, you know, not getting played by magic witch energy. Like, what the fuck was his plan there? And does he have aids?

The weapons themselves. Turns out, it wasn’t just the kids — she could control anyone she wanted: Alex’s parents, the teacher, Paul the cop… and yes, the heat-seeking bloody headmaster, which was actually one of the best “weapon” ideas in the film. All of them could be turned into her pawns if she got one of their personal affects, but she often used hair, those creepy ass scissors, fuck that. They were her meat puppets for healing herself, but also her personal hit squad if needed. And yes, it does pay off at the end when they finally rip her apart — brutal, satisfying, and the one moment the “weapons” idea actually delivers. But still, the film barely explains how she chooses them or why they follow her so blindly.

Gladys’s death frees them — but most kids remain catatonic. My guess? It’s because they’d been staring at nothing for over a month. That would drive anyone mad. The film never outright says it, but you can see it — they’re physically free, but mentally still stuck in that empty, unblinking hell. And yet… nothing in the story really digs into that, so it just hangs there, unresolved.

All that said, the chaos and surrealism can be entertaining — if you’re not trying to make sense of it. But if you are into logic, you’ll feel like the movie squeezed your brain, then handed it back with half the screws missing.